It might sound really stupid but I so wannaaa work on a movie sometime soon, I love photography and I love shooting movie scenes! ughhhh I wish I got equipment :(
all weird all weirdddddd
Please God, all am asking for is one last chance, I’m really lost,
please one last chance, please ….
My 11:11 wish for today and for the coming days, I beg you.
” You never thought of anyone else you just saw your pain.
because of you I dont know how to let anyone else in,
because of you I am ashamed of my life, because its empty
because of you I am, afraid”.
Those lyrics never get old for me. thanks to my parents.
I wish I can say more.
(via myquotelibrary)
I hope from the bottom of my heart, just the same way I used to believe in as a child, those little sparkles, those motion-full butterflies of hope.
(Source: youjustinspiredme, via playinghurt)
This is my fastening plan for the coming week.
I promise
(Source: kourtneyrae, via playinghurt)
No, I don’t want you to remember me, not even to appear in my dreams anymore, not you, no I don’t want to know that fact, I even started denying it, the shattered pieces of memories, is where Im left alone, my darkest, weakest circles were struck by those shocks, electrifying sense of pain, emptiness is what I feel after all of who left me, dismissed the strings, and walked away, never been easy, but the hardest of all, re-surviving and starting from the zero points in me, Letting go is what I waited for so long, I did, but passionate memories keep pulling me close to the picture, I run away, I try to cover my sight, I dont wanna feel this again, I cried to sleep for too long, I stumbled, crawled in my sheets for months thinking, what went wrong, the answer was on knocking my door
the answer was on knocking my door ….
I couldn’t see it, I still cant clearly see it but I know it, Life goes on maybe
That what used to scare me the most, Im sitting here doing my daily stuffs, minding nothing at all, while all are having their day out, with others with friends, with partners and groups And I sit there, watch them, listen to them, get chained to cliffs of time, unsecured of what should I do or say,
I wish, just like others, having some good person, someone who would really listen without getting it all wrong, someone from outer space that might actually help me through all of this,
I feel chained to my family, which I hate the most; not my family but being chained and motionless, brainless, and sometimes senseless, maybe this is number one problem cuffing my hands tight, cutting my wings down,
and now im talking bullshit, all over again
Just felt like writing and now Im out of words, and in the mood to sleep my problems off! and postpone them at least
Because I lose myself too much in the pictures, I forbid myself to see, to feel or even to remember, by finding blinded activities, that are senseless, emotionless and full of lies, I want so bad to go back and see, and therefore I find myself cuffed with the chains of pain, unable to move back, or even to look there,
a heavy breath I try to inhale surrounded by motionless fears,
consumed by the thoughts of miserable childhood that left me without a sparkle of trust of any human being, or by the unconditional excessive love that left me in pain and fear of moving forward, painted by nightmares of losing my origin, my parents, my beloved ones, of losing myself
a heavy river of negative feelings shakes my memory, of a lonely child, that have been left alone, repressed with her own thoughts, of carelessness of surroundings, repressed hatred she struggled, Unheard words she used to shout, to no avail,
each time, I change the way of thinking, I know, I realize that I should carefully choose my thoughts, but sometimes helplessness erupts, by then I find myself writing, remembering, stumbling and even falling into the oceans of memories, and walking through the unknown future that scared the most in me,
but I see myself moving forward, I will be walking …
